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Parents on Reddit are confessing times they had to scold their kids but were secretly proud of them
"My daughter got in trouble in kindergarten for selling pencils to other kids. She was charging kids a quarter, the school charged 50 cents. I was pretty impressed." - /u/AMHRangel
"My nine year old son called me into his room because he had a monster in his closet. I tell him he's too old for that kind of thing and to go back to sleep. He pleads with me to check. I open the door and turn on the light, staring back at me is some scruffy looking thing with angry eyes and I scream. It was a mirror. I'm trying to see if I'm having a heart attack and he's laughing his troll ass off. I'm proud of his cleverness but considered if he were too old to be left on someone's doorstep." - /u/weird_in_chicago
"My 16 year old son and his buddies decided to call their dodgeball team 'Snipe' so that they could 'accidentally' stand in front of the whole school with their lettered T-shirts spelling out 'Penis.' Such a proud mom I was!" - /u/TallyWhackerLacker
"One night my wife and I were having a discussion with our 10-year-old daughter about the importance of homework, education and her future. The subject came up because she was busted lying about her grades. I asked, 'Don't you want to grow up and be successful like me?' Her response was, 'Mom doesn't do anything and she's got it pretty good.'" - /u/kriklesmaks
"I blocked YouTube on the iPad. I was a little worried my kid might see some stuff on YouTube not intended for a 5-year-old. My 5-year-old found a work-around by starting up Angry Birds, clicking on the Angry Birds Cartoons, then browsing to his favorite YouTuber using the Voice Search function.
"I have to say, that's brighter than most adults I've seen. He dealt with bypassing Password protection and his own inability to write using the speech function. That's amazing!" - /u/JamAndDai
"My brother-in-law was lecturing his daughter about something and he was in an intense angry rant. She interrupted him in his yelling to ask 'Daddy, can you lift a bear?'" - /u/suzieaton
"4-year-old wanted to go to the zoo. I didn't. I told him we would go to the park by the zoo, because that didn't cost any money. Then I told him I wanted to get coffee first. His response? 'Oh, so you have money for coffee?' I was impressed with his very appropriate and timely response." - /u/Meggie82461
"I went to WalMart with my boys and some guy nearly backed over us in the parking lot. It was bad. Stepson was looking elsewhere and my hands were full with the baby, so I basically smashed him in the chest with the diaper bag to stop his forward movement.
"As he's recovering his balance and realizing what happened, the guy is just staring at us like we materialized out of nowhere... And stepson plants his feet and flips him the double bird. Completely calm, confident, full eye contact, and he held it up there for a good three seconds. The kiddo is normally kind of shy with adults. It was like seeing a glimpse of the man he is going to become." - /u/EmeraldGirl
"I was playing a video game and my 3-year-old son climbed up on the back of the couch and farted INTO my ear." - /u/storytimeshores
"My daughter, 15, just took up boxing (actual boxing, not boxercise) for fun. On Sunday, when we were playing around sparring in the backyard, she caught me with a right hook that was hard enough to make me see stars for a couple minutes.
"I'm a 110kg guy, ex-heavyweight. Was so impressed and full of love I was speechless. I think my silence was interpreted as rage, because she got very apologetic." - /u/imnotsurethatsnotok
"When my daughter was 6, a boy in school was bullying her. He was confronting her one day, in front of his buddies, and said, 'I bet you don't have the nerve to kick me in the nuts.'
"She did. We got a call from the school. My ex and I had to stifle laughter while making to the principal. We exploded once we were outside, then had to rein it in once we met up with our daughter. Heh.
"The kid who was bullying her left her alone after that." - /u/Intestinal_Hurry
"My 5-year-old daughter has been getting grounded lately as a result of having bad bedtimes. One morning, she asked me what would happen if she kept getting grounded. She listened intently as I gave a long speech about how the longer you're grounded, the worse the consequences are, and how eventually you won't have any privileges left, and on and on and on. When I was done, she responded: 'You're killin' me, Smalls.'" - /u/gie-gie
"My son, who was in first grade at the time, was able to convince the school that he was diabetic and needed a morning snack and afternoon snack ...
"When I told them he was not diabetic they were dumb-founded and at that point called the doctor. When the nurse got off the phone, she told them to go get my son and she asked him why he lied. He said Anna told me she is diabetic and that's why she gets snacks twice a day, so I thought I would give it a try.
"Then he said, 'It's not my fault you trusted a first grader.' I could not force myself to punish him because he was right. They shouldn't have taken his word. They should have called me immediately. After I explained it all to my husband, we just started busting out laughing... And I thought, damn, this kid is clever." - /u/profoundly_me
"My then-kindergartener started a black-market ring at his YMCA aftercare. I was informed by the very upset staffer that he had brought a bunch of Nerf darts with him and then recruited several other kids to sell for him. He then kept most of the proceeds, with his 'agents' getting a small cut. He also had other kids bring more Nerf darts from their own home, which he would buy at a small rate then have his agents sell for him. This apparently went on for a few days before it was discovered.
"I was pretty freaking impressed, but I had to act all surprised and angry for the benefit aftercare director. I asked my son how he had thought of this scheme, and he told me he learned it from watching Storage Wars. He said he knew he would eventually get caught, because some of his agents (who had been caught) were, in his words, 'too weak-minded to keep quiet.'
"I think he might have been a drug kingpin in a past life." - /u/yellow_sourfruit
"It was actually my nephew, but a few years ago (back when he was in 2nd or 3rd grade), his class was learning about onomatopoeia and the teacher was asking the children if they knew any. Apparently, my nephew raised his hand and said, 'I know one!' and then he farted." - /u/Subwulfer
"My wife was laying my two year old down for a nap and laid down with him to help him sleep.
"After about ten minutes, he tells her, 'Want mama's phone, please.' My wife asked him, 'What happened to your nap?' To which he responded 'What happened to mama's phone?'" - /u/retrofl0w
"My 8-year-old girl was being bullied by two boys at her school. So she took them both down. Put one in a choke hold (briefly) and the other kid ran. Surprise b*****s, she's being doing Brazilian jiu jitsu since she was five! Anyway she came home and told me she took both boys out. When I looked at her in astonishment, she said, 'Don't worry though! I did it on the grass and not the concrete!'
"I was amused and hella impressed. A year later and she is now best friends with one of the boys. :D" - /u/farmyard_meedy
"Not a parent, but this made my parents proud.
"In 1st grade (6 years old), I loved anything military. During art class, I started drawing 'war' pictures. It was school policy to have a child meet with the guidance counselor to discuss why they were drawing violent images.
"The thing was that these meetings took place at lunch, and the guidance counselor would bring in a Happy Meal for the child. I immediately made the connection and started drawing more war pictures to get the free McDonald's.
"When my mother was finally called into the school, I was forced to admit my scheme. The counselor was embarrassed, and my mother started laughing immediately." - /u/Sully1102
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