In February, I fainted, face-planted on a cement floor, and fractured my jaw in three places. My path to recovery included a gruesome surgery to realign my mouth and wire my jaw shut, à la Kanye West's "Through the Wire".
I can't smile or eat solid foods. It hurts to yawn. I cried the first time I went to lick an envelope and remembered my tongue was trapped behind bars.
In the days of rest after my operation, I rewatched the Netflix original series "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" with my mom. Obviously, my temporary grill does not compare to the pain and suffering of being held against your will for 15 years, as Kimmy experiences in the show. Still, her mantra kept popping into my head.
"You can stand anything for 10 seconds," Kimmy says in a flashback. "Then you just start on a new 10 seconds."
Kimmy Schmidt, played by Ellie Kemper, knows a lot about hardship. She spent half her life in an underground bunker as prisoner of a cult leader, only to emerge broke and out of touch with society. "I haven't had a clock since my Tamagotchi died," she bemoans in the pilot.
Still, as the title of series suggests, Kimmy is resilient. Each day, she wakes in the walk-in closet that doubles as her bedroom, suits up like she's modeling for a Lisa Frank catalogue, and confronts the world with a smile.
Kimmy first learned to cope with adversity in the bunker. When the cult leader demanded she and her fellow prisoners turn a mysterious, heavy crank ("the purpose of which is unknown to this day"), she grits her teeth and counts to 10 while she does so. It's monotonous work, but Kimmy finds strength in knowing she can handle the next 10 seconds.
Later, after being set free and landing a job as a nanny, she shares her manifesto with the family. Kimmy tells the youngest child that he can withstand the agonizing wait to open birthday presents if he can just make it through the next 10 seconds. She gives the same advice to the boy's mother, who weeps on the bed as her marriage quietly implodes. It works.
Over the years, many yoga instructors have pitched mantras to me, but I never bought in. It seemed unlikely that saying some nonsense phrase like "I am that I am" out loud would trigger any physical response. And yet, I watched Kimmy use a mantra with great success.
My injury left me feeling helpless. I didn't want to leave the house for fear of passing out again. A strict diet of chicken broth and apple juice didn't help with the dizziness.
One day, as I rode home in an Uber from the one pharmacy that stocked liquid narcotics, I began to feel lightheaded and panicked. Curious about the magical powers of Kimmy's mantra, I tried it on for size. Still hyperventilating, I asked myself if I thought I could make it through the next 10 seconds. So, I counted. Over and over again. And I made it home.
Anna North writes for The New York Times that Kimmy's maxim — while "chirpy and childlike (especially since it's delivered partly in a Mary-Poppins-style song)" — unlocks a revolutionary approach to pain management.
"Kimmy survives not because she's unfazed by her troubles," North says. "Rather, she survives because she learns to deal with being fazed."
The suggestion that I can survive the next 10 seconds (and can worry about the following 10 when I get there) has powered me through hot, crowded trains and nights when a pack of frozen peas just doesn't cut the pain. In those moments, I press pause on daunting thoughts about the future and celebrate the seconds I do endure.
"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" showed me how to wear a mantra like a cape, not a security blanket.
Disclosure: Mathias Döpfner, CEO of Business Insider's parent company, Axel Springer, is a Netflix board member.
