13 things that only happen in Silicon Valley

silicon valley
How many Pied Piper T-shirts have you spotted in the wild? HBO

Silicon Valley is probably the only place in the world where you can survive on Soylent, live out of a van, and befriend a mall-cop robot.

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To celebrate the area's triumphs and weirdness, we rounded up the most Silicon Valley things that happen in Silicon Valley and the greater Bay Area.

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Penny-pinching tech workers live in vans.

van exterior
Zach Both

As real estate prices soar in the Bay Area, tech workers are converting vans into mobile homes. These so-called "van dwellers" lead a nomadic and legally precarious lifestyle, and sometimes risk being found out by their employers for parking on company lots.

Some of the most well-known cases of Silicon Valley van dwelling involve a software engineer at Google who lived in a truck in the company's parking lot, saving 90% of his income, and a Tesla employee who paid off $14,000 of student loans by living in a van for five months.

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Company emails remind people to not have sex in the stairwells.

colleagues man woman stairs stairwell coworkers love dating
Shutterstock.com

In the ultra-casual, open-concept workspaces that dominate startup culture, some rowdiness is bound to slip in.

Zenefits, a scrappy payroll and HR platform provider based in San Francisco, threatened to pull employees' "stairwell privileges" earlier this year when it learned the stairs were being used as love nests.

"... Several used condoms were found in the stairwell. Yes, you read that right," the director of workplace services wrote in a company-wide email. "Do not use the stairwells to smoke, drink, eat or have sex."

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People shave their heads to make wearing virtual reality headsets easier.

Christopher Tauziet, a designer at Facebook who works on social virtual reality applications, allegedly got this haircut to avoid the dreaded "Oculus hair" that comes with wearing the headset too long.

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Venture capitalists get prime parking spots.

Steve Greenberg, founder of Thin Client Computing company, tweeted out this photo of a parking sign in Silicon Valley. We're not sure where it exists, but we're jealous.

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You notice the robots really are taking over.

knightscope k5 thumbnails 05
Gene Kim

Autonomous robots are increasingly filling in for humans to perform easy tasks, like serving quinoa bowls and delivering water to hotel guests.

The K5 security robot, developed by Knightscope, wanders the grounds of corporate campuses, malls, and data centers in the Silicon Valley area and gathers data from sensors and cameras. GPS technology allows it to move autonomously around an assigned area and report offenses back to the real cops.

Operating the R2-D2-looking mall-cop costs a fraction of a human security guard's hourly salary.

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Everyone makes more money than you — even if you make six figures.

Hackim Farrell, a technical support director at Symantec, was enjoying a nice meal out when he overheard a neighbor who was miffed because he earned "only" $4.6 million last year.

The Bay Area has some of the highest median household incomes in the country, though the gap between the haves and have-nots grows deeper every year. The top 5% of households earn on average nearly half a million more than the bottom 20%.

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The coolest way to get around is an electric scooter-sharing network.

new scoot_profile
Scoot

San Francisco is a bear to get around. The hills make it nearly impossible to walk anywhere without arriving as a sweaty mess, while the public transit makes New York's MTA look like a well-oiled Hyperloop.

Scoot, founded in 2011, lets people find a nearby Vespa-style scooter, unlock it through their smartphone, and ride anywhere for just $4 per 30 minutes. There are more than 10,000 users enrolled in the network, and over 400 scooters on the road.

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Tension runs high between those who work in tech and those who don't.

Harriet Allner recently tweeted this photo of a flier in San Francisco, warning tech workers to tone down their brag sessions.

The city has a history of conflict between techies and people living outside the Silicon Valley bubble. In the last three years, numerous protests against tech company shuttle buses have stopped traffic and impeded people from getting to work.

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This truck brings the dentist to you.

studio dental
Facebook/StudioDentalSF

Studio Dental squeezes a luxury dentist's office into a 230-square-foot office on wheels. The truck makes regular visits to major tech companies like Google and Airbnb, providing quick services like teeth cleaning and taking X-rays in the parking lot.

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A good matchmaker sets you back $50,000.

couple grass
Flickr / Giuseppe Milo

The odds are against young men looking for love in the Bay Area. According to the Pew Research Center, there are 140 single employed men for every 100 single women in San Jose, California.

A matchmaking service called Linx screens candidates for compatibility and provides 11 matches in a year for platinum clients — a service that costs $50,000.

Amy Andersen, who runs the Silicon Valley-based matchmaking service, says her clients include prominent C-level executives.

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Tesla rules the road.

Ethan Perlstein, founder of the Perlstein Lab, a startup dedicated to finding cures for rare diseases, tweeted out this photo of a packed Tesla charging station.

The Tesla Model S is the best-selling luxury sedan in America, with a great number of those sales taking place in the Silicon Valley-based company's backyard.

Even Uber drivers are on board with Tesla's electric vehicles.

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Drone-free areas are clearly marked as such.

 

The dry lake bed of Lake Lagunitas at Stanford University was once a best kept secret among amateur drone pilots, where they could practice flying without disturbing the neighbors.

Now it's marked with this sign that reads, "Flying model aircraft, drones, rockets, or unmanned flying vehicles is prohibited except as authorized in writing by Stanford University."

We've seen signs like this all over Twitter and Instagram.

San Francisco Silicon Valley
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