There are a million ways to get in touch with someone we're dating. There are texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, Skype, Tweets, Gchats, emails...the list goes on. But not all of these modes of communication are created equal.
A new study suggests calling and texting are associated with high levels of relationship satisfaction.
Unlike video chatting, texting and phone calls don't reveal facial expressions and body language. This lack of nonverbal cues can boost idealization of a partner since it leaves a lot to the imagination.
"The couples that are really happy are not the ones that see their partners completely realistically. Their perceptions of the other person is a little distorted," Catalina Toma, the study's co-author, tells Tech Insider. "These couples think their partners are amazing, special, and better than average, and that's what makes them feel satisfied."
The study surveyed more than 200 college students who live in the same city as their partner. On average, participants reported using three different types of digital media to communicate daily with their partner in addition to real-life face time. By an overwhelming majority, they use texting and phone calls (98% and 84% respectively), and then a third mode (most likely Facebook or instant messaging). Participants report an hours-worth of continuous texting with their partner each day on average.
The research shows that texting and calling are linked to a greater sense of idealization, which in turn can lead to greater relationship satisfaction. These modes of communication help highlight the best version of your partner. Essentially, we relish how attentive they are when they text "good morning" or how funny they are when they text us a well-crafted joke.
It's important to note that the study only looked at young heterosexual college students, so these findings may not apply to every relationship.
Toma predicts that we will only continue to use our phones more in relationships — and that could actually be a good thing. "Generally thinking, people will rely on digital media to maintain contact, coordinate plans, and stay in sync with one another," she says. "It helps us feel psychologically close to our partners."
